Starting Conversations, Building Network

Finding a job in Singapore is not easy. Market dynamics are different and things are not easy if you have come to Singapore for employment. Personally, I have witnessed few people coming here, spending time finding a job and then finally returning to their home country. Have seen many NUS MBA students passing through the same rigorous process. I have gone through this process myself at Singapore as well and do believe that perseverance will pay, however you need to gain the art of conversing with others and building your network in order to reach where you want to be. There had been many weaknesses I learned about over a period of time though I now feel a little content that I have become better at tackling few things that I was completely fearful about during and after my MBA time.

People say that the most important aspect one learns in a MBA program is Art of Networking. “How do you come across as a personality to other people, how do you sell yourself in a job event, how do you make an interesting conversation that could lead you to where you want to be”. These things are exceedingly important in one’s career as he/she will be evaluated more and more on personality aspects rather than technical aspects as one gains experience. And I was not good at this at all the time I joined my MBA school. I, definitely, was not one of those who can get along with anybody in minutes, actually far from that. I was not confident of speaking in public, I had problems continuing (or even starting) a conversation on anything, etc to name a few. Furthermore, my career experience post undergraduation after IIT Bombay was in a technical domain, as a software developer, which is more like an inward job where one gets evaluated more on technical skills than anything else, and does not expose much to interacting with customers often. Moreover, getting a job in IIT does not inculcate that very skill which is so much needed in a career growth. IIT students are given a silver spoon and companies line up to get the best available student, unlike any other university in world where students understand from very start that they need to sell themselves to a prospective employer.

When I attended multiple job events at NUS, I was at loss of words to interact with the HR person I wanted to talk. All I could talk was if there is any opportunity, what is the company culture etc. Very depressing time. On the other hand, I could see other students who could talk endlessly. These students probably had seen a tough time earlier getting jobs so they were more skilled at conversations. I, definitely, not implying here that IIT is to blame, but largely I felt that I never took building up these skills seriously and, secondly, I was naturally lacking this aspect.

But good thing is that over time with constant reflection on what is missing and with great help from my wife (who is a master in networking), I started focusing on enhancing these skills. Caution here  that it is a time taking process, requires practice and immense dedication. But I certainly believe that these skills could be developed with time. It is important for all MBA students to focus on this very aspect as they will realize later importance of these skills. This is what I suggest to people who could try out few things to be better at finding jobs and impress people with relevant conversations –

1. Grow your network - While at NUS, I started adding people on LinkedIn, get them to meet and talk to them about what they do, their company culture etc while maintaining that the meeting is strictly not for job hunting. This helped me to a large extent as I got better and better in expressing myself and converse with them easily. I continue this activity today as well. You need to constantly aim at building your connections outside/inside your organization.
2. Ask open ended questions - Starting a conversation could be difficult if you start on a wrong thread. If you starting something that is very objective, then you would soon have to start another conversation. It needs to be an open-ended, something which other person could speak subjectively, could give his views and leads the conversation. The purpose is that you need to start something where he knows more than you and you just have to listen and contribute wherever necessary. This brings to my third point.
3. Understand the psyche - What would make other unknown person talk more and answer something that can carry forward a discussion. I believed that this is a simple thing provided you know the psychology of a person. “Who are you meeting with, what is the kind of work he has done, how has his career progressed, what position is he in etc etc”. For example - assume you are meeting a very experienced managing director/general manager and you have to initiate a conversation. Now the way I would approach is that this person has already seen the world, has worked immensely and now likely at a stage where he would want to impart knowledge to others (provided others ask for it). And that is what exactly one needs to do. Ask him to meet that you want to learn from him, get his guidance on your career, how is he able to reach such a stellar career, what advice does he have for people like you. And it is possible that person will speak much more than you had expected. You need to understand other’s mind.
4. Bring out your experience - Your own experience with other worldly things also counts. It could be anything that you could bring it in a conversation. Your travel, books you read, passion on yoga, sports you follow etc. It could be just anything that you could find a connection with. So do search for things that the person is passionate about and steer a conversation in that direction. In one of my chats, we ended up discussing complete New Zealand tour for about 15-20 minutes.
5. Read - This is one thing that I find common across all leaders I have followed. They are updated on current situations, they have a point of view and this is not possible if they are not well read. They usually can talk at length on any topic. So this means that if you have to start a conversation, you need to read a lot and have a point of view. I never ever imagined that I would bite the reading bug, but today I enjoy reading a lot.

These are few things that I did and, even now, continuously pursing it to improve. You can do much better if you speak what other person wants to hear. If you do that, most likely he is going to like you and will help you to the best he could. I employed most of all while having conversations during my time and was largely successful by having a simple coffee conversations or an interview reaching up to 2 hours.